February 2012
14 posts
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Ending tonight on a good note
Never have I imagined that everything would turn out like “this”. It caught me off guard and I wasn’t necessarily prepared for it but truthfully, I’m not complaining. This is just another stepping stone and if it doesn’t work out then I know that “this” just wasn’t for me. But until then, I’m going to soak it all in and just enjoy my time...
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I really want to move to Europe, specifically in either Spain or the United Kingdom, and start a new life there by myself.
If not as a permanent resident, then several years will do.
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Disappointed
The first instant you took the time to care about me and my life, was the moment I thought to myself that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give you a chance. And I’ll be honest and state that there’s a part of me that actually wishes I didn’t, but if I hadn’t opened up to you, I wouldn’t have known what I know now about you and your personality.
I’m not gonna...
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We Are Young ft. Janelle Monáe / Fun
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A heart of cold
Considering my current condition, it seems that my heart is buried deep underground. I’ve noticed that I’ve formed multiple barriers that prevented anyone from coming into close contact with me and in result, made my heart cold. I eventually grew somewhat bitter and more adapt to the feeling of loneliness, which became my comfort zone. To me, love (in relationships) was just something...
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Coming to an understanding
As days continue to progress, I’m noticing that the time I have is mostly, if not completely, spent by myself and myself only. I don’t have much of a social life now that I’m focusing most of my attention towards school but truthfully, I’m not complaining. I’m glad that I’m able to concentrate on my future and work to better it because that’s what I need to be...
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Dead Hearts / Stars
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Honest thought
I hate knowing that you are now someone that I once knew; someone who came into my life and left so easily. And as disappointed as I am about it, I don’t feel as if it’s worth the time and effort to help it at all. It’s clear to me where we stand and it’s obvious that there’s not much that we can relate to but let me say this: it was a great pleasure being given the...
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January 2012
13 posts
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Already There ft. Big Sean / John West
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I don’t think that people realize that even the smallest gestures, such as giving a compliment, can create a huge impact. Acknowledging someone for characteristics about them that you admire and respect can put them in a good mood, which can lead them to do the same for another person. And with a chain reaction like this, it might just make living in this world a better place to surround...
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“People who are sick are not the only ones that need to be taken care of.”
– Dr. Robert Chase, House M.D.
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Life In The Wind / Popcult
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Human nature
I can’t strain this enough but I will always abide to my knowledge that humans are selfish beings. I’m not saying it as a bad thing nor are my intentions to offend anyone, but from personal experiences and thorough thinking, it only seems fair to consider each one of us as being somewhat selfish in different aspects. Of course, we all have the choice to perform selfless acts and for...
“It is at our core to be selfless, but we are taught to be selfish to survive.”
– Adrian Wise, my political science teacher
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I don’t enjoy watching the news at all. In fact, I won’t even attempt to watch it voluntarily, accidentally, incidentally, or by force. I understand that the news showcases awareness to its viewers, but it scares me. Reason? Watching the news reminds me that there is always something terrible happening somewhere in this world. It reminds me that even though there is a lot of good out...
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My heart is a cold one, I’ll tell you that.
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I’m finding it a little bit difficult coping with what I’m feeling right now. Actually not so much difficult as it is complicating. There’s a part of me that hopes that we’ll end up being together once again and another part that still questions the intentions of our friendship. I know that now we’re back on good terms and have gotten a lot closer, but why do I feel...
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I’ve had three years of memories written and posted publicly on this blog. It’s amazing how things have changed within that time span; experiences, thoughts, perspectives, and just life in general.
Fuck you Tumblr.
December 2011
30 posts
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I want you to be happy.
Yes, you and those who stumble upon this and read it. I may or may not know you, but I want you to know that you deserve to be happy and you deserve to smile.
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Slow Burn / The Northern Lights
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The more I think about it, the more I picture myself growing up alone. My reason being because I’ve left all my past relationships for selfish excuses and surprisingly, it was the same reason for each relationship. Knowing this makes me question if I even deserve to have a significant other that can put up with my bullshit and dick-like behavior.
Shit.
I’ve realized now that...
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2012
I finally received new gear for my Nikon, which I’m pretty stoked about because I’ve been meaning to start using my camera again for a photo journal that I plan on sustaining for the upcoming new year and so forth. I got a couple new filters, new cleaning equipment, a functional tripod, and bought a couple new lenses that are coming in hopefully soon. Unlike the past years, I’m...
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It’s nights like this that make me question my being— who I am and what I am in my perspective and through other’s. It’s a time of recollection for myself to understand the state that I’m in whether I’m happy or not. It’s as if the night is the only time I’m given to think and notify myself about what has happened, what is happening, and what will...
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I’ll admit that the only reason I was never too fond of you was because of what and how others perceived you as. I was constantly being told that you were someone I wouldn’t get along with because of your “tough” personality and that if I were to ever be your friend, I would be looked down upon. I was even told that you wouldn’t even associate yourself with me unless...
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Love After War / Robin Thicke
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It’s a great feeling knowing that your friends are able to reassure you that they’re your friends and that they’re happy to be a part of your life. Of course, there may be instances when you drift apart from each other or have little feuds here and there, but there will always be a handful of people you can count on to be there for you.
Small gestures and reassurances such as a...
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Why do I feel as if there is so much pressure placed upon me this holiday season? I get the feeling that my friends and family are expecting something great from me for Christmas and I already know that I can’t deliver that for them. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I’m broke and that just adds more stress. And knowing that I want to give the ones I care for a present...
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I’m lacking any motivation to fall asleep at a “healthy” time.
Late nights and late mornings now seem to be ordinary.
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I guess I’m a tad bit disappointed that our friendship has taken more than just a few steps back, but I’m also proud to know that I no longer feel the need to look out after you. You’ve become a great person now that you’ve had time to be apart from home and I’m glad that you’ve given yourself that chance to do so. I know that our conversations now lack any...
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I’ve never been great at telling someone how I feel about them. Most of the time, I avoid any chance of me having to explain myself and my emotions to that person unless it really comes down to it. I’m aware that it’s not the best thing to do, but that’s just how I handle these things. It’s actually a bit hypocritical of me to do so, but fuck. I don’t like...
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I’m almost 100% sure that I now know the type of people I want to continue to be a part of my life.
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Farewell / Sol
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I don’t think I’m fully grasping the essence of our friendship and I’m a bit unclear if that’s even the right word to describe our “relation” to each other. We were never that close and I guess we just played it off unknowingly, but we did have plenty conversations in the past with one another. And regardless of how much time we actually spent together, I do...
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Let this be known
There’s something about going out on a date that most of us don’t understand and it’s that every date you go on doesn’t always have to turn into a relationship; that’s not the reason we go on dates. A date is an “appointment” of sorts in which you can socialize with someone you find attractive and are given the chance to get to know each other. The outcome...
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Note to self:
There comes a point in your life when you begin to resist the temptation to hold anything back. You’re continually growing as a human being and feeling as if you still need to please the people around you shouldn’t bother you anymore. You’re your own person and you need people in your life who are going to embrace and understand who you are, not people who are going to continue...
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There are always three sides to a story: your side, their side, and the truth.
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"Carve out an hour every day to be alone"
And sleeping doesn’t count.
Trust me when I say that you can never have too much time to spend time alone. There’s a sense of serenity and supremacy when you isolate yourself away from distractions within your surroundings. It’s amazing the things you realize and figure out when you place yourself in a calming environment. Don’t believe me? Try it out for yourself;...