December 2011
29 posts
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I want you to be happy.
Yes, you and those who stumble upon this and read it. I may or may not know you, but I want you to know that you deserve to be happy and you deserve to smile.
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Slow Burn / The Northern Lights
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The more I think about it, the more I picture myself growing up alone. My reason being because I’ve left all my past relationships for selfish excuses and surprisingly, it was the same reason for each relationship. Knowing this makes me question if I even deserve to have a significant other that can put up with my bullshit and dick-like behavior.
Shit.
I’ve realized now that...
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2012
I finally received new gear for my Nikon, which I’m pretty stoked about because I’ve been meaning to start using my camera again for a photo journal that I plan on sustaining for the upcoming new year and so forth. I got a couple new filters, new cleaning equipment, a functional tripod, and bought a couple new lenses that are coming in hopefully soon. Unlike the past years, I’m...
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It’s nights like this that make me question my being— who I am and what I am in my perspective and through other’s. It’s a time of recollection for myself to understand the state that I’m in whether I’m happy or not. It’s as if the night is the only time I’m given to think and notify myself about what has happened, what is happening, and what will...
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I’ll admit that the only reason I was never too fond of you was because of what and how others perceived you as. I was constantly being told that you were someone I wouldn’t get along with because of your “tough” personality and that if I were to ever be your friend, I would be looked down upon. I was even told that you wouldn’t even associate yourself with me unless...
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Love After War / Robin Thicke
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It’s a great feeling knowing that your friends are able to reassure you that they’re your friends and that they’re happy to be a part of your life. Of course, there may be instances when you drift apart from each other or have little feuds here and there, but there will always be a handful of people you can count on to be there for you.
Small gestures and reassurances such as a...
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Why do I feel as if there is so much pressure placed upon me this holiday season? I get the feeling that my friends and family are expecting something great from me for Christmas and I already know that I can’t deliver that for them. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I’m broke and that just adds more stress. And knowing that I want to give the ones I care for a present...
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I’m lacking any motivation to fall asleep at a “healthy” time.
Late nights and late mornings now seem to be ordinary.
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I guess I’m a tad bit disappointed that our friendship has taken more than just a few steps back, but I’m also proud to know that I no longer feel the need to look out after you. You’ve become a great person now that you’ve had time to be apart from home and I’m glad that you’ve given yourself that chance to do so. I know that our conversations now lack any...
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I’ve never been great at telling someone how I feel about them. Most of the time, I avoid any chance of me having to explain myself and my emotions to that person unless it really comes down to it. I’m aware that it’s not the best thing to do, but that’s just how I handle these things. It’s actually a bit hypocritical of me to do so, but fuck. I don’t like...
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I’m almost 100% sure that I now know the type of people I want to continue to be a part of my life.
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Farewell / Sol
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I don’t think I’m fully grasping the essence of our friendship and I’m a bit unclear if that’s even the right word to describe our “relation” to each other. We were never that close and I guess we just played it off unknowingly, but we did have plenty conversations in the past with one another. And regardless of how much time we actually spent together, I do...
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Let this be known
There’s something about going out on a date that most of us don’t understand and it’s that every date you go on doesn’t always have to turn into a relationship; that’s not the reason we go on dates. A date is an “appointment” of sorts in which you can socialize with someone you find attractive and are given the chance to get to know each other. The outcome...
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Note to self:
There comes a point in your life when you begin to resist the temptation to hold anything back. You’re continually growing as a human being and feeling as if you still need to please the people around you shouldn’t bother you anymore. You’re your own person and you need people in your life who are going to embrace and understand who you are, not people who are going to continue...
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There are always three sides to a story: your side, their side, and the truth.
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"Carve out an hour every day to be alone"
And sleeping doesn’t count.
Trust me when I say that you can never have too much time to spend time alone. There’s a sense of serenity and supremacy when you isolate yourself away from distractions within your surroundings. It’s amazing the things you realize and figure out when you place yourself in a calming environment. Don’t believe me? Try it out for yourself;...
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Under Your Spell / Desire
“But I ain’t ever been afraid of other people getting inside; I’m...”
– Mike Posner
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I have trust issues and I always will.
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"You are now entering hell week"
I can actually say that I am completely overwhelmed and a little stressed out with the amount of work that I have cut out for me. I have two papers to write by this week and I also have three big projects to complete within this week and next week.
• Design Fundamentals: “The Bucket List Project” website and physical poster board and a written rationale which discusses my final...
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I have the tendency to leave without notice or just barely any notice at all. I guess you can say that by doing that makes me an asshole or a jerk or a dick and I’m fine with that. Call me anything really and I’ll add it on to the list.
So if you don’t already know, here’s my warning to you: I’ll probably end up fucking you over or exude an excessive amount of...
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I find it amazing how persistent I am to continue hiding a huge part of my life away from most people. I didn’t realize until now that I’d be this uncomfortable opening up to any one person that I’ve grown to know. I guess you can say that I have a hard time coping with trust and the pros and cons that come along with it. But then again, I’m just one to keep to myself...